8. Unreturned Party Down DVDs lead to a spate of retribution killings.
7. Visiting Israeli military confuse self-deprecating jipsters wearing keffiyehs for hardened PLO militants.
6. Using a scarf as a garrote becomes too tempting for some, particularly when Jónsi/Sigur Ros debates gets heated.
5. Mayor wars on Foursquare take a tragic turn.
4. Facing huge rent increases due to even wealthier hipsters moving in, Trustafarians are forced to live in tight quarters, giving way to internecine killings.
2. New Arcade Fire album causes massive rift in hipster community leading to violence against those who don’t think the album is “too poppy.”