8. Unreturned Party Down DVDs lead to a spate of retribution killings.

8. Unreturned Party Down DVDs lead to a spate of retribution killings.

7. Visiting Israeli military confuse self-deprecating jipsters wearing keffiyehs for hardened PLO militants.

7. Visiting Israeli military confuse self-deprecating jipsters wearing keffiyehs for hardened PLO militants.

6. Using a scarf as a garrote becomes too tempting for some, particularly when Jónsi/Sigur Ros debates gets heated.

6. Using a scarf as a garrote becomes too tempting for some, particularly when Jónsi/Sigur Ros debates gets heated.

5. Mayor wars on Foursquare take a tragic turn. 

5. Mayor wars on Foursquare take a tragic turn. 

4. Facing huge rent increases due to even wealthier hipsters moving in, Trustafarians are forced to live in tight quarters, giving way to internecine killings.

4. Facing huge rent increases due to even wealthier hipsters moving in, Trustafarians are forced to live in tight quarters, giving way to internecine killings.

3. Recent reports indicate that at least 4 Huffington Post buses to the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear were set on fire to cover up the murder of a guy who “didn’t think Bush was so bad.”

3. Recent reports indicate that at least 4 Huffington Post buses to the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear were set on fire to cover up the murder of a guy who “didn’t think Bush was so bad.”

2. New Arcade Fire album causes massive rift in hipster community leading to violence against those who don’t think the album is “too poppy.” 

2. New Arcade Fire album causes massive rift in hipster community leading to violence against those who don’t think the album is “too poppy.” 

1. PBR shortage in Brooklyn causes hipsters to turn on each other in a classic resource war.

1. PBR shortage in Brooklyn causes hipsters to turn on each other in a classic resource war.